I remember the night in class when Christie looked at me and said "For twenty years I've been dealing drugs and in and out of prison and it stops now." That moment was a holy moment. Christie ‘got’ that she could make a new choice about how she lived her life.
Christie was a student in Making Choices, a class taught at the Denver Women’s Correctional Facility(DWCF). The class teaches the women a five step decision making process. Every week for eight weeks the women attend a 2 hour class and meet one-on-one with a mentor who helps her apply the class material to her life. All the teachers and mentors in the program are volunteers.
Often these women ended up in prison because of reactive behavior. Many don’t understand that they can make choices based on what they want. It’s powerful to witness these women own their ability to make different choices.
We always have a choice, even if it’s only the choice of an attitude. The choice of attitude is sometimes the most significant choice we make.
The holidays offer a perfect opportunity to choose our attitude, an opportunity that I missed for many years. The attitude I chose around Christmas was akin to Scrooge. Didn’t like it—just wanted it to be over.
One Thanksgiving I attended a church service that shifted my perspective. The minister began by talking about how thick the paper had been that morning with sale flyers. She said she wished the merchants prosperity yet we each got to choose the kind of holiday season we would have.
The minister’s simple message connected with me. My Christmas disappointment occurred because of the way I thought Christmas should be rather than basing my experience on what was personally meaningful. She inspired me to ask myself these questions: How did I want to experience the holiday? What was its meaning to me?
As I asked myself those questions, my holidays became simpler and more joyful.
This Christmas is especially joyful. Christie, my former student at DWCF, has been out of prison more than 3 years and working. I’m coordinating gifts from Making Choices volunteers for Christie’s new Habitat for Humanity home.
It’s not easy to start over with a felony on your record yet Christie persevered. When her current employer asked her what she brought to the organization, Christie responded “I was a drug dealer for 20 years. I never came up short with my cash and I can talk to almost anyone.” Not only did she get the job, she’s received two promotions. Christie continues to make choices that align with how she wants to live her life.
What has been your biggest learning about the power of choice?
Happy Holidays (if that's what you choose!)
I LOVE Christie's statement of what she brings to the organization!
ReplyDeleteI work with grad students who often struggle when trying to articulate what they have to bring to a employer. You've just given me another way to help them. For example, let's try something like this ...
Aside from their content skills (often beside the point for an employer, like maybe Medieval Literature????), they could say something comparable to what Christie said - "I'm a learning machine with work experience. For example, in three years of grad school, I never missed an assignment deadline, and I earned As in every single course I took - while I worked an average of 30 hours a week for a local business."